Curses...

I was born with tiny nostrils. Mostly, I reckon I have an average nose, its got the regular shape and size, but my nostrils are just flippin' tiny. I don't even know how I picked my nose (and I was an avid picker) when I was a youngster. Now, if I have something stuck up there bothering me, I can't even get it with my pinky finger without the threat of rippin open my nasal flaps.



Most of you are probably thinking "so what, big deal, you have small nostrils." Well you're darn right, it is a big deal. Please allow me to present my case:

1. Sports: I enjoy running. I run about 5 miles 3-4 times a week, so I would think that I do it relatively often as well. Most people run with their mouth closed, atleast for the first bit of the run. Later, if the tough gets going, they will open their mouth in order to gasp for air. Me, my mouth is open constantly. From the moment I start running my nostrils simply can't keep up. It's not that I'm a heavy breather, they're just to darn small.
2. Sleeping: I sleep with my mouth open. All. The. Time. Due to this, I'm what most would consider to be a drooler. Big time drooler. I am forced to sleep face up, straight, and on my back. I lean to the side, I drown in my pillow. It's really quite unfortunate.
3. Illness: For the most part, I'm a healthy guy so this generally isn't a problem. But when it is, oh boy is it ever. Picture this -- the common cold. For most people, this is an incovenience. They feel a bit under the weather, perhaps a stuffy nose after a few days and a little trouble breathing. Not for me, oh no. The instant I get a cold my nose becomes an unbreakable wall. No matter how many times I blow my nose, it will not budge.

So mock me, call me names and challenge my manliness. Small nostrils may not be the biggest of issues in the world, but it effects me "fo sho'".